100 Words of Astounding Beauty s03e04 - Ob Ob www.100wordsofastoundingbeauty.com
S03E04 - Ob Ob
Writer | Pronouns | You are editing | Your editor is | Title | |
1 | Fran Bushe | she/her | Amy Macintyre | Mano Camatsos | A dugong love song |
2 | Gavin Haynes | he/him | Tom McNally | Amy Macintyre | All Creatures Great and Swarm |
3 | Mano Camatsos | he/him | Fran Bushe | Tom McNally | Horns through bathroom jungle trees |
4 | Amy Macintyre | she/her | Gavin Haynes | Fran Bushe | Wet Plate |
5 | Tom McNally | he/him | Mano Camatsos | Gavin Haynes | Weathervane |
Theme is Music for Jellyfish by Bell Lungs.
Story music is by John Bartmann, featuring:
Let’s Skate the Prom from 80s Action Montage,
Down in a Dream from Audio Drama Soundtracks Album Four,
Back to Bali from 100 Ambient Atmospheric Audio Drama Soundtracks,
Panama Lounge from Hot Equatorial Night,
Spooky Systems from Moody Beats.
Welcome to One Hundred Words of Astounding Beauty, a flash-fiction podcast where a handful of writers each make a story with a limited wordcount in a limited time.
This is the fourth episode of our third season. We have swept the buffet with a terrible zeal and now we rise from our table, staggering towards the terrible seconds.
I am your host, Tom McNally and joining me tonight, introducing themselves by a mournful honk of prose prompted by a single word like a tugboat lost in the fog, are the writers:
Hiya, I’m sorry for everything I did in 1346. I was going through some stuff! Hope we can still be friends and you might want to hang out, no worries if not, Bubonic Plague xX |
“It’s got what?” “Ma’m, your computer has a virus.” “... but Polio?” Though it didn’t sound right, forevermore, the mouse would drag limply on its pad, as she scrolled for cheap holidays. |
King cyrus, king cyrus, death from a virus! A what ? said the queen … i mean he has perished from an evil spirit….. Said the high priest Ah okay, be gone evil spirits from our lives. |
I eagerly clicked on the download button, awaiting the delightful ping of a freshly delivered hit song. At last, I clicked 'play', but 'You are an idiot' blared out instead. |
We have no need of other worlds. We need mirrors. But on every world we can be assured that there will be viruses. In the cosmos, they are life's mirror. |
Listeners, roll yourselves a scrappy cigarette and witness as we pull one hundred words intact from last night’s campfire. Writers, I will play an audio prompt, a sound you need not fully recognise, and you will then have five minutes to conjure a first draft of a story.
Listeners - you can and should write along with us. We will start a breakaway nation state that will get us all killed when we receive your 100 words of Astounding Beauty. Send them as text or a sound file and let us know if you’d like us to read them out or play them in the next episode.
Writers, I’m about to play the prompt for your 100 words.
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1yetaqJFEan6vKMqlgYpR349jQ5kPkFku/view?usp=share_link
Writers, work that sound around in your nimble jaws as you consider which 100 words will be yours. Listeners, if you’re writing along with us at home, pause here and time yourself for five minutes because we’re going to skip ahead.
Fran Bushe first draft | ||||
A manatee mosquito love story (A dugong love song?) | ||||
‘Yeah but how do they do it’ said a passing Southern Toad, ‘like, who goes on top and what goes where?’. Manatee felt sorry for Southern Toad’s wife. It was different with mosquito, beyond the physical & yet so physical. ‘Mate! It’d be handy if you could mate with another Manitee mate’ said a Sea World employee, ‘You’re not on the endangered list anymore but that doesn’t mean you can relax’ ‘Mosquito’s using you,’ laughed the celebrity dolphin from its tank. Mosquito’s get a reputation, but Manatee didn’t listen. Each dawn mosquito returned to Manatee amongst the algae bloom & they knew. They just knew. And let it rain. | ||||
Word count: 107 | ||||
When you are finished: | ||||
Algae | Passing | Mate | Reputation | Bloom |
Sorry | Listen | Toad | List | Who |
Fran Bushe, your editor is: Mano Camatsos |
Help asked for: Not exciting enough? Vivacious? Open to either a redraft or suggestions. |
Mano Camatsos’s edits: What did they just know? To continue or the last time? The ending. I like the pairing, impossible. metaphor. Mismatches cant get enough of each other. Took me a few reads to understand completely. But im a little slow. |
Fran Bushe second draft | ||||
A dugong love song | ||||
‘Yeah but how do you do it’ said a passing Southern Toad to Manitee, ‘like, who goes on top and what goes where?’. Manatee felt sorry for Southern Toad’s wife. It was different with mosquito, beyond the physical & yet so physical. ‘Mate! It’d be handy if you could mate with another Manitee mate’ said a Sea World employee, ‘You’re not on the endangered list anymore but that doesn’t mean you can relax’ ‘Mosquito’s using you,’ laughed the celebrity dolphin from its tank. Mosquito’s got a reputation, Manatee knew but didn’t listen. Each dawn mosquito returned to Manatee amongst the algae bloom & they knew it was real. They just knew. And let it rain. | ||||
Word count: 100 |
Gavin Haynes first draft | ||||
Working Title | ||||
To me, it was not a pretty sight. A cow, high on LSD, being eaten by a swarm of weevils… “Are you sure this is the most humane way of doing this?” I asked the vet. He had that James Herriot air, a milky, tweedy, English composure. “New guidelines from the Royal Veterinary Society,” he shrugged. “Used to be ketamine, see, to tranquilise the cow. But apparently it’s not moral, to give ‘em that kind of isolation before the weevils are set loose. This is more… communal. More vibrant.” “It’s just that it only had thrush.” “Nature’s savage…” he stared off into the middle distance, at the shards of what I assumed was a pig blown to bits by a limpet mine. | ||||
Word count: 122 | ||||
When you are finished: | ||||
cow | high | LSD | eaten | swarm |
weevils | Veterinary | tranquilise | Limpet | mine |
Gavin Haynes your editor is: Amy Macintyre |
Help asked for: More ambiance, dial it up a bit |
Amy Macintyre’s edits (Had to cut out all the extra words above the word count.) It was not a pretty sight. A cow on LSD, being eaten by a swarm of weevils… “Is this really the most humane way to do this?” I asked. The vet had that James Herriot air; a milky, tweedy, English composure. “New guidelines from the Royal Veterinary Society,” he shrugged. “Used to be ketamine, to tranquilise them. But apparently, it’s immoral to give ‘em that isolation before the weevils are set loose. This is more… communal. More vibrant.” “It only had thrush.” “Nature’s savage…” He stared into the distance, at (assumedly) pig remains; blown to bits by a limpet mine. |
Word count: 100 |
Gavin Haynes SECOND DRAFT |
All Creatures Great and Swarm |
It was not a pretty sight. A cow on LSD, being eaten alive by a swarm of weevils… “Is this really the most humane way to do this?” I asked. The vet had that James Herriot air; a milky, tweedy, English composure. “New guidelines from the Royal Veterinary Society,” he shrugged. “Used to use ketamine, to tranquilise them. But apparently, it’s immoral to give ‘em that isolation before the weevils are set loose. This is more… communal.” “It only had thrush.” “Nature’s savage…” He stared into the distance, at recent shards of pig, blown to bits by a limpet mine. |
Word count: 100 |
Mano Camatsos first draft | ||||
Horns through trees | ||||
Reverse demon nightmare words, eyes open, reverse words turn into syllables, “ma” “no” eyes open. Buffalo walking in the jungle? No, its me on the floor people all around looking down. Not in a indonesia? No, me knocked out. In wheelchair, hospital. Raining still,not jungle. Edinburgh. Concussion from hand dryer. | ||||
Word count: 51 | ||||
When you are finished: | ||||
nightmare | indonesia | buffalo | reverse | demon |
syllable | eyes | floor | concussion | hospital |
Mano Camatsos, your editor is: Tom McNally |
Help asked for: About an incident Terse style maintained Added to and blown |
Tom McNally’s edits: I know the incident well! In the toilet, then Buffalo is here. It moves slowly around trunks of Cendana. People all around looking down. On the floor or Indonesia? Then wheelchair, hospital. Raining still,not jungle. “Edinburgh”. Concussion from hand dryer. Two weeks off. No sick pay. |
Word count: 65 |
Mano Camatsos SECOND DRAFT |
Horns through bathroom jungle trees |
Toilet door opens ‘I’m thirsty,water’ in kitchen cup almost at my mouth.then nothing.eyes open somewhere. Reverse demon nightmare words turn into syllables. Eyes open again. Hearing distant buffalo? ‘Ma’ ‘no’ ma no! Not in jungle. On floor. People all around one on floor with me. Looking down. Me knocked out on floor. Wheelchair through mud, hospital In edinburgh, not in indonesia. Hand dryer concussion incident takes me distant lands. |
Word count: 72 |
Amy Macintyre first draft | ||||
Working title: Dark and Stormy | ||||
Another dreadful night in the jungle. Though buckets of rain pelted down around James, pools at his feet soaking him through to the bone, he stood rock-still, gripping his camera ever more tightly. For four days now, he had been waiting for his one shot to win the prize this year. And eternal acclaim — that was worth the pain, he mused, thoughts drifting off to a hopeful place. Still, no sign of the subject of his piece. A sudden rustle broke him out of his stupor, finger twitching on the camera button. Alas, 'twas merely the wind. Another dreadful night... | ||||
Word count: 100 | ||||
When you are finished: | ||||
buckets | stupor | dreadful | twitching | pools |
bone | acclaim | drifting | rustle | hopeful |
Amy Macintyre, your editor is: Fran Bushe |
Help asked for: Got the word count, do like it Could be tighter, Hack it apart Too much exposition - could be tighter, more interesting |
Fran Bushe’s edits Another dreadful jungle night. Though buckets of rain pelted down around him, pools at his feet soaking through to the bone, he stood rock-still, gripping his father’s camera ever more tightly. Still, no sign of it. For fourteen days now, he had been waiting for his one shot to win the prize this year. And eternal acclaim — that was worth this pain, his thoughts drifting off to a hopeful place. A sudden rustle broke him out of his stupor, finger twitching on the camera button. He clicked. A flash. Alas, merely the wind this time. Another dreadful jungle night... |
Word count: 99 |
Amy Macintyre SECOND DRAFT |
Wet Plate |
Another dreadful jungle night. Though buckets of rain pelted down around him, and pools at his feet soaked through to the bone, he stood rock-still, gripping his father’s camera ever more tightly. Still, no sign of it. For fourteen days now, he had been waiting for his one shot to win the prize this year. Eternal acclaim! — that was worth the pain. His thoughts drifted off to a hopeful place. A sudden rustle broke him out of his stupor, finger twitching on the camera button. He clicked. A flash. He checked the shot; merely the wind. Another dreadful jungle night... |
Word count: 100 |
Tom McNally FIRST DRAFT |
Prince in a Gibbet |
No one else could put up with the rain so they rode off back home. Harry, who liked the rain, was left to linger outside the Guildbourne Centre with the Prince. The gibbet lurched back and forth with the wind. Harry fancied that the Prince was pacing in the air, maybe still anxious about the sentence. You can stop worrying, Harry laughed to the gloom. We’ve done our worst, haven’t we? He had seen the Prince once, as a boy. They were the same age. He’d been getting in a black car, then was gone. Harry thought he’d never see him again. But now he could see him whenever he liked. |
Word count: 111 |
10 sample words from the draft (can be in any order and of any level of significance) | ||||
gibbet | linger | anxious | lurched | air |
worrying | worst | car | pacing | Guildbourne |
Tom McNally, your editor is: Gavin Haynes |
Help asked for: So What? |
Gavin Haynes’s edits No one else could put up with the rain so they rode off back home. Harry, who liked the rain, was left to linger outside the Guildbourne Centre with the Prince. The gibbet lurched back and forth with the wind. Harry fancied that the Prince was pacing in the air, maybe still anxious about the sentence. “You can stop worrying,” Harry laughed to the gloom. He had seen the Prince once, as a boy. They were the same age. He’d been getting in a black car, then was gone. Harry thought he’d never see him again. Now he could see him whenever he liked. He’d had his doubts, like any member of an armed mob. But the Republic was turning out just fine. |
Word count: 123 |
Tom McNally SECOND DRAFT |
Weathervane |
The others couldn’t take the weather so they biked off. Harry was left to linger outside the Guildbourne Centre with the Prince. The gibbet lurched back and forth with the wind, which made the Prince pace in the air. “You can stop worrying,” Harry laughed to the gloom. He liked the rain, liked the dark. He had seen the Prince once. A boy, his age, getting in a black car. Harry thought he’d never see him again. Now he could see him whenever he liked. He’d had his doubts at the trial. But the Republic was turning out just fine. |
Word count: 100 |
Writers stop writing. You have a first draft, but that isn’t enough. No. A single draft might fly on your family group chat but not here. This is high culture, which means a second draft.
Here to bring your drabble into the world of literature is your editor. You’ll all be editing each other’s drafts - giving each other suggestions, praise, scorn, or too much punctuation in a daisy-chain of writing.
Before we begin the chain, let us first share ten sample words from our first drafts, then ask our editors what they might be able to reasonably do with the full pile of words you are about to give them.
Enough talking about editing, let’s just edit! Writers, you’re all editors now. Read the draft of your assigned writer. Make your edits and then pass them back. They must like it or lump it.
Listeners at home, you should edit your first draft too. Get an editor from the cupboard and let them have a look over things.
Five minutes to edit!
Your time starts now.
Editors, that’s quite enough of that. Hand your well-meaning advice back to your writer and return to your own first draft and read the notes left by the editor who has manhandled it. Use them, heed them, ignore them or spite them as your final draft.
Your time to rewrite begins now.
Five minutes!
While Fran, Mano, Amy and Gavin are rotating words and phrases in the bright rectangle of a Google Docs table, I come to you with a listener submission. May I present 'Searching for alien civilisations' by Christopher T. Dabrowski.
SETI searches for light and radio signals from outer space using radars, for years.
Scientists still hope to discover alien civilisations.
Unfortunately, they haven't.
A wild tribe living on an island in the Pacific for years have been on the look-out to see if smoke signals from an alien tribe appear on the horizon.
To date, they haven't spotted any, so they figured they were the only people in the world.
They had no idea that other continents had been inhabited too - they didn't know other continents existed.
Does the SETI seeking contact with aliens have no clue about something?
--
Another sterling offering from the prolific C.T. Dabrowski. Now we come down from outer space, set sail for the mainland, and discover our writers on the unseen shore...
And there we have it. We hope you’ve become a better, cleaner person for having heard our words, and perhaps committed some of your own to paper. Joining me with their 100 words tonight has been:
Fran Bushe with A Dugong Love Song (editor: Mano Camatsos).
Music: Let’s Skate the Prom from 80s Action Montage.
Gavin Haynes with All Creatures Great and Swarm (editor: Amy Macintyre)
Music: Down in a Dream from Audio Drama Soundtracks Album Four,
Mano Camatsos with Horns Through Bathroom Jungle Trees (editor: Tom McNally).
Music: Back to Bali from 100 Ambient Atmospheric Audio Drama Soundtracks,
Amy Macintyre with Wet Plate (editor: Fran Bushe)
Music: Back to Bali from 100 Ambient Atmospheric Audio Drama Soundtracks,
Tom McNally with Weathervane (editor: Gavin Haynes)
Music: Spooky Systems from Moody Beats.
That was 100 Words of Astounding Beauty Season 3, episode 4: Ob Ob, which was a production of Red Button Audio. The theme tune is 'Music for Jellyfish' by Bell Lungs.
Story Music is all by John Bartmann, released under a CC-BY license. This episode we had:
‘Let's Skate the Prom’ from 80s Action Montage
'Down In A Dream' from Audio Drama Soundtracks Album Four
‘Back to Bali’ from 100 Ambient Atmospheric Soundtracks
'Panama Lounge' from Hot Equatorial Night
'Spooky Systems' from Moody Beats
John's latest, 80s Action Montage, is now available for download to his loyal Patreons.
Our listener submission this episode was 'Searching for alien civilisations' by Christopher T. Dabrowski.
Track art was generated by Bing.
And to carry us home, here is Fran Bushe with a Frankenstein story made up of all bits and pieces of the five stories you have just heard.
Sex for Sad Limpets by Fran Bushe
Anxious limpet Guildbourne was hopeful he would mate. But with who?
Drifting in Indonesian pools, eyes twitching, he rustled his algae bloom;
a limpet of high acclaim and reputation.
But then there was the worrying:
The dreadful buckets of demon doubt,
the reverse mind hospital of un-aired misgivings,
the sorry pacing weevil stupor,
the tranquilising concussion of nightmare swarms…
Those Limpet had eaten like LSD: Limpet Self Dislike.
Gibbet, a passing buffalo toad, listened...lingered. Checked his non-
negotiables list: Limpet wasn’t cow, car, floor dweller or a vetinary nurse like
his ex. Two syllables: ‘Be mine?’
Limpet lurched : ‘Let’s bone’