Warm-up - no wordcount, no title, prompt is: ‘grandma’

Big red snapper sizzling and simmering in olive oil. Waiting for me after a journey across the semi desert. The snapper looks up from the pan and winks. My lips are dry and cracked. I’m parched. I drink a big jug of rooibos and whiskey. I light a cigarette and pass it to red snapper who pulls on it twice. It says, “Thanks bru”. A recipe from Asia minor now in Southern  Africa. By the coast it tastes the most. Fresh catch, I bite into the first piece of the soft ocean meat. Lemon zest is the best. Her recipe lives on in my hands, still trying to match the taste of Grandma’s welcoming fish feast. (this all sounds really delicious. What’s it paired with?)

Warm-up - no word count, no title, prompt is: ‘grandma’

Write here

Grandma rocked back and forth in her chair.

”Why the young people gotta think up all them nonsense? Tell me, what’s a tick-tock? Why, ain’t that what the clock says?

She’d spend half of her 80 years here in Chicago, but her mind was still in Dust Bowl Kansas. I walked over and draped a blanket across her knees.

“Thems kids out in San Francisky put a car in outer space. Can you believe that? Eisenhower’d have bout pissed himself!”

A bat in a bikini and a rat with an oversized hat sat pat on a hill in Laurel Canyon. Resting on their laurels, talking politics, they eventually got bored. Rat said, let’s get back to work. For Bat was in his employ. So after eating their last drug, they started down the hill toward Sunset so Bat could turn some tricks and they could get high quality Vegan food later on.

Down on Sunset, a fat Persian cat pulled up to the curb in a range rover sport. A tinted window rolled down. “Meow.” Bat flew in a circular pattern toward the car window where he landed softly. “Hey, honey. Looking for some fun.” The persian cat blew grape flavored vapor into Bat’s face. “Sorry, Mano, I mean bat. But you ain’t got no butt.” And with that, he stepped on the gas. The exhaust blew rat’s hat off his head. At a red light down the street, bat bit the cat. Later that night, the Persian cat picked up a trans hooker from Wuhan, China.  She called home to Grandma that night. I’m coming home. I miss your dumplings.

Warm-up - no wordcount, no title, prompt is: ‘grandma’

Grandma smiled and her lonely tooth winked. Puckered lips and wizened words flew past and the tooth whistled happily with its new companions.

Warm-up - no wordcount, no title, prompt is: ‘grandma’

The mistletoe and the tree

Have fused together genetically

Grandma’s here with festive cheer

Though she died of cancer just last year

So when your carpenter is not Josh but John

And you’re unclear how many years it’s been going on

When the turkey and the pudding have nightmare sex

That’s when you know

It’s Christmastime in Area X

MANO CAMATSOS FIRST DRAFT

100 words first draft (press ctrl/cmd + shift + c for wordcount)

The roofguy came in my apartment that morning

Boom cat scratch sliding up the stairs. Vapors of the drinks in the belly go out the mouth into the nostrils. Missed a step, now sliding down. Oh help me reach my bed, my spinning motorized rowboat. Oars move on their own. Up i go everest stairs yes yes yes i made it plonk bounce snore…..vomit vomit vomit. Puddle of chunks sleeps beside me. I wake and slide. Oh no! Going back down. Picking up speed. I’m going really fast now. And I’m gone. I’ve time traveled. Back in SA, at a table with a red snapper playing cards and drinking rooibos and whiskey.  

Mano, your editor is: Kevin Drain

Suggested edits:

Does “slide” at the end mean to fall out of bed, or to fornicate? You used slide earlier so maybe a new word- unless this repetition is purposeful. If that’s the case, you could title this poem (since I assume that’s what this must be) “Slide cat” or something. Maybe add some sounds like “WOMP” in between the stages of action.

MANO CAMATSOS SECOND DRAFT

100 words second draft (press ctrl/cmd + shift + c for wordcount)

The Roof Man Came to Fix the Roof and Jumped over the puddle like a cat

Boom cat scratch sliding up the stairs. Vapors of the drinks in the belly go out the mouth into the nostrils. Missed a step, now sliding down. Oh help me reach my bed, my spinning motorized rowboat. Oars move on their own. Up i go everest stairs yes yes yes i made it plonk bounce womp snore…..vomit vomit vomit. Puddle of chunks sleeps beside me. I wake and slip.A knock at the door. I grab a sheet and cover the puddle once again now sliding down. The man came to fix the roof. But to get there he must leap across my chunks.

KEVIN DRAIN FIRST DRAFT

100 words first draft (press ctrl/cmd + shift + c for wordcount)

Elephant Island

April 28, 1886: The top of the volcano came into view before the rest of the island. If the charts were correct, we would be the first Caucasians here since Magellan. As the clouds cleared, a reef was immediately Starboard. We cleared to the North and anchored in a small bay, grateful once again to Providence for delivering us on this strange quest.

April 30, 1886: Five crew missing ashore. Suspect contact has been made. No search party until camp is secured.

 May 1, 1886: Two of the missing sailors stumbled into camp at nightfall speaking blasphemous lies.

Kevin, your editor is: MANO

Suggested edits:

Volcano.. Maybe describe the volcano?  Explorer  journal maybe would maybe describe.

May 1: expand on blasphemous lies...

KEVIN DRAIN SECOND DRAFT

100 words second draft (press ctrl/cmd + shift + c for wordcount)

Elephant Island

April 28, 1786: The rim of the volcano came into view before the rest of the island, sharp and dark. If the charts read well, we be the first Caucasians here. As the mist gave way, a reef came up Starboard. We passed north, anchoring in a small bay, grateful once again to Providence for delivering us on this strange quest.

April 30, 1786: Five crew missing. Suspect contact has been made. No search party until camp is secured.

May 1, 1786: Two of the missing sailors stumbled into camp late speaking blasphemous lies of man painted in red.

SOKRATIS FRANTZIS FIRST DRAFT

100 words first draft (press ctrl/cmd + shift + c for wordcount)

Title

A bat in a bikini and a rat with an oversized hat sat pat on a hill in Laurel Canyon. Resting on their laurels, talking politics, they eventually got bored. Rat said, let’s get back to work. For Bat was in his employ. So after eating their last drug, they started down the hill toward Sunset so Bat could turn some tricks and they could get high quality Vegan food later on.

Down on Sunset, a fat Persian cat pulled up to the curb in a range rover sport. A tinted window rolled down. “Meow.” Bat flew in a circular pattern toward the car window where he landed softly. “Hey, honey. Looking for some fun.” The persian cat blew grape flavored vapor into Bat’s face. “Sorry, Mano, I mean bat. But you ain’t got no butt.” And with that, he stepped on the gas. The exhaust blew rat’s hat off his head. At a red light down the street, bat bit the cat. Later that night, the Persian cat picked up a trans hooker from Wuhan, China.  She called home to Grandma that night. I’m coming home. I miss your dumplings.

Sokratis, your editor is:  Mano Camatsos

Suggested edits:

Maybe say ‘talking politics’ in a different way

‘Hey honey wanna have fun?” maybe say in more interesting way as well

Eating lasy drug, say is more creative way.

SOKRATIS FRANTZIS SECOND DRAFT

100 words second draft (press ctrl/cmd + shift + c for wordcount)

Title

A bat in a bikini and a rat with an oversized hat sat pat on a hill in Laurel Canyon. Resting on their laurels, talking politics, they eventually got bored. Rat said, let’s get back to work. For Bat was in his employ. So after eating their final drug treat, they started down the hill toward Sunset so Bat could turn some tricks and they could get high quality Vegan food later on.

Down on Sunset, a fat Persian cat pulled up to the curb in a range rover sport. A tinted window rolled down. “Meow.” Bat flew in a circular pattern toward the car window where he landed softly. “Hey, honey. Looking for a date?” The persian cat blew grape flavored vapor into Bat’s face. “Sorry, Mano, I mean bat. But you ain’t got no butt.” And with that, he stepped on the gas. Tires screeched and the exhaust blew rat’s hat off his head. At a red light down the street, bat caught up and bit cat’s hairy arm. A homeless man in downward dog, with a glass eye watched  from his yoga mat. Later that night, the Persian cat picked up a trans hooker originating from Wuhan, China.  She called home to Grandma that night “I’m coming home. I miss your bat dumplings.:”

ELLA BRASINGTON FIRST DRAFT

100 words first draft (press ctrl/cmd + shift + c for wordcount)

Title

The lights dim and the concerto begins. The conductor trembles as rivulets of sweat run down his frozen face and frantic wrists.  Eyes and teeth dart and grind with the strings. Tempo rising, the audience is restless. Ears aquiver, they listen hungrily for the shrill cries of the band. Pacing the stage, the conductor shreds a single tear from glassy eyes. Heads thrown back in pain and ecstasy, the band work furiously to reach the crescendo. He turns to see the stage lights glare and misses a beat. The conductor falls with the curtain and the audience screams “Encore”.

Ella, your editor is:  Tom McNally

Suggested edits:

99 words! Nice!

Proposed title: ‘Concerto’ or ‘Crescendo’
Love the match with the prompt - the marching and grinding and tempo.

What we’re missing is some small piece of the conductor as a character. He is well described as a visual and some personal insight to his mind or history could fit at the beginning or end with some tidying up of words.

Proposed words to cut down are bolded:

The lights dim and the concerto begins. The conductor trembles as rivulets of sweat run down his frozen face and frantic wrists.  Eyes and teeth dart and grind with the strings. Tempo rising, the audience is restless. Ears aquiver, they listen hungrily for the shrill cries of the band, ears aquiver. Pacing the stage, the conductor shreds a single tear from glassy eyes. Heads thrown back in pain and ecstasy, the band work furiously to reach the crescendo. He turns to see the stage lights glare and misses a beat. The conductor falls with the curtain and the audience screams “Encore”.

Don’t know if ‘shreds’ is intentional but it really works!

ELLA BRASINGTON SECOND DRAFT

100 words second draft (press ctrl/cmd + shift + c for wordcount)

Crescendo

The lights dim and the concerto begins. The conductor trembles as rivulets of sweat run down his frozen face and frantic wrists. Hands shaking as the dosage increases, his capillaries stretch and burst. Eyes and teeth grind with the strings. Tempo rising, the audience listens hungrily for the shrill cries of the band. Pacing the stage, the conductor shreds a single tear from glassy eyes. Heads thrown back in pain and ecstasy the band reach the crescendo. Audience shudder. He turns into the stage-light’s glare and misses a beat. As the conductor falls with the curtain, the audience screams “Encore”.

TOM MCNALLY FIRST DRAFT

100 words first draft (press ctrl/cmd + shift + c for wordcount)

Title

I push the stone up the hill.

For one moment the weight lifts and it is free.
The stone rolls back down and sits in the breeze.

I push the stone up the hill.

Someone made me this way, I think.

Built out of copper and iron and protein.

Sometimes I look up and see others, copied from the same ancient memory as me.

They are pushing their stone up the hill.

If I let the stone drop down

Friendly Death will come and stop all the chemistry from being confused

About purpose and equilibrium

So I push the stone up the hill.

(103)

Tom, your editor is:  Ella Brasington

Suggested edits:

It’s sisyphus right? But also, like, the grind of livin’.

I really like the rhythm and flow of this. I gave a couple of line edits to get you under the limit but overall i wouldn’t really change much because I like it a lot. I vibe with the message. Cheers all around.

Built of copper and iron and protein.

And so I push the stone.

It’s also funny because your piece makes me feel so calm but the prompt is so chaotic and shrill - very you.

TOM MCNALLY SECOND DRAFT

100 words second draft (press ctrl/cmd + shift + c for wordcount)

Cytochrome Sisyphus Oxidase

I push the stone up the hill

For one moment the weight lifts and is free
The stone rolls back down and sits in the breeze

I push the stone up the hill

Someone made me this way, I think

Built from copper and iron and protein

Sometimes I look up and see others, copied from the same ancient memory as me

They are pushing their stone up the hill

If I let the stone drop

Friendly Death will come and stop all the chemistry from being confused

About purpose and equilibrium

So I push the stone up the hill.